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Eva’s suggestion to, “Be yourself. Stop worrying about what you say and how you appear to others. By putting on a front and not expressing what you really think and feel, you are creating an imbalance of energy that will eventually erode your mental and physical health” comes off a bit cheesy.

“Be yourself” has got to be one of those first life rules you discover in grade school. And if you don’t discover it, everyone is telling you to. I swear I must have heard it a million times. So upon reading this in Eva’s Things to do now that you’re…single again I couldn’t help but giggle alittle.
Thanks Eva, I haven’t had this one figured out since sixth grade. ….snore

Still, the goal is to accomplish all her suggestions. So, forward march, cliche as it is.

In highschool I attended a retreat known as Kairos. It’s a religious retreat, but no one is required to be religious to go on it, and not everyone wakes away feeling religious in the end. Kairos, is filled with surprises and traditions that have been passed down for generations and are kept secretive. Since attending my kairos I have gone on two more kairos retreats as an adult mentor, which has been a privilege. I just recently attend one!

My experience on this retreat in higschool was a lesson in being less judgmental of others. The retreat space becomes sacred in that everyone becomes comfortable with one another. A space where judgments are cast aside and people are free to be themselves. It’s very unique.

We think on a daily basis we are being true to ourselves, but when given the opportunity to go deeper within, we may look back a realize, that’s not really the case.

When I met my boyfriend, despite our young age, I thought I was very secure in who I was. I was very confident and comfortable with my personality, my body, all of it. But my boyfriend and I had very personal, very intimate one-on-one conversations. He taught me to love myself even more. He taught me to appreciate my body, to love my quirks, and my imperfections. He made me a better person and balanced me out. It wasn’t until he pushed me to think and feel on a deeper level, that I realized I wasn’t true to myself as much as I thought.

Everytime I attend kairos, it is a reminder of that. I may be comfortable with who I am, but am I true? Am I always demonstrating that? Kairos, forces me to realign myself, to prioritize, to better express myself. It restores a sense of balance required for my mental and physical health to be the healthiest and happiest, I can be.